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Latest News Tag: Birthmother

May 17, 2017

What a Birth Mother Needs You to Know

birth mother

I often told my son’s adoptive mother how much I loved her and was thankful she was a part of my life. But, like many things I’ve told her over the years, Kathy would already know. Back in 1985 I chose open adoption for my son. Being a birthmother has changed my life forever, and I know that becoming an adoptive parent changed Kathy’s, too. We’ve traveled the road of adoption together, with respect and honesty. We’ve shared our hopes, our fears, and our dreams for the boy we both love. However, often adoptive parents do not get the chance to build this type of relationship with their child’s birthmother. While most domestic adoptions are open, most children adopted from other countries are not. This disconnect from a child’s beginnings can make it difficult for adoptive parents to provide answers their child will need as they grow and explore the … Continue reading

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May 4, 2016

An Open Letter to My Son’s Birthmother

To the woman who delivered the boy that I love: I know very little about you. I know how old you were when you gave birth, and I know a smattering of details related to your pregnancy. That’s it. Strange that I should know so little when you and I share so much. When I traveled overseas to meet our boy, I wanted nothing more in the universe than to be his mother. In those first moments when I held him–more precisely, he sat on my lap as he was already 4 years old–I thought of you. (Strange, perhaps, since the room was raining Duplo blocks and the noise level was considerably higher than a fleet of turbo jets.) As someone who was adopted, I should have had a better understanding of what it means to share a life, but I did not, at least not from the perspective of a … Continue reading

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November 6, 2015

10 Things Birth Mothers Want Adoptive Parents to Know

I often told my son’s adoptive mother how much I loved her and was thankful she was a part of my life. But, like many things I’ve told her over the years, Kathy would already know. Back in 1985 I chose open adoption for my son. Being a birthmother has changed my life forever, and I know that becoming an adoptive parent changed Kathy’s, too. We’ve traveled the road of adoption together, with respect and honesty. We’ve shared our hopes, our fears, and our dreams for the boy we both love. However, often adoptive parents do not get the chance to build this type of relationship with their child’s birthmother. While most domestic adoptions are open, most children adopted from other countries are not. This disconnect from a child’s beginnings can make it difficult for adoptive parents to provide answers their child will need as they grow and explore the … Continue reading

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